Showing interest in sex is an incredible gift. Sex, in its several different forms, can offer an avenue to show love, giving and receiving pleasure, in order to learn more about oneself and how to communicate with others. However, sex is deeply personal and can lead to a sense of vis-à-vis vulnerability of another person. An individual reaction to sex is uniquely personal, and it is you and only you can determine in any relationship the time you are set to have sex.
More importantly, it is not normal for someone to force his/her partner to have sex. In the event that you are not ready or in case you and that individual had to have records of sex before, you still have the right to say no. It can be difficult to say no, even if you have decided to; you might feel bad thinking about wounding someone or feeling there are expectations of what should happen. But you are the only person who should be in control of your body.
Are you ready for sex?
The best way to prepare for the decision to have sex is to become comfortable with communication concerning your needs. Choosing to take part in some kind of sexual activity does not mean automatically that you are ready at all. The best way to ensure that your boundaries are understood and respected is to have a sexual relationship with a partner who not only respects both you and your body but will talk to you before your sex about your concerns and your limitations.
Talking about these things before they really are a sex situation can be very useful to make sure you are both on the same page. If you do not feel good, say it! Anyone who questions your choice whether having sex does not award you the accolades you deserve. Make sure you listen to your feelings and do not permit anyone to intimidate you for making decisions that are the best for you.
Your feelings are yours
Since sex can create new feelings, it is useful to think about your reactions, emotions, and potential dangers whenever you plan to have sex with a new person. Make sure you take the time to think about how to prepare for an sexual experience that can be full of wonder, but it can also be emotionally difficult. These questions can be useful:
- How will you feel after sex?
- Why do you think it’s the right time to have sex with this person?
- How will you feel for your partner after sex?
- Can you communicate with that person on how you have been protecting yourself from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases?
- If you are a beginner in sexual activity, are you talking to someone you trust and ask how to find and use this protection (contraceptive method, condoms, etc.) correct?
Are both of you in the same page? Both of you may go to bed together, but the things that both want maybe very different. You may look for sex and your partner may look for a stable relationship or vice versa. Communication is very important.
You can choose at any time to abstain or have sex at all. Even if you’ve had sex before, you’re absolutely right to decide that this is not something you want to do. You can choose not to have sex for a long time; you may decide not to do so after having been sexually active for several years. Remember: It’s your body! Pay attention to your feelings and allow yourself time and space to make the best choice for you.
Asexuality is another thing that could come to light in your life. Being asexual indicates that you do not feel any sexual attraction to anybody. Remember that it is quite normal for you to experience the stages in your life that do not include sex. However, if you want to know more about your asexuality feelings or if you feel uncomfortable with them – especially if suddenly appear – do not hesitate to consult a doctor or therapist.